


flames so hot that they turn blue

by SummerChilde



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/F, POV Azula (Avatar), POV First Person, Questions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:08:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29525508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerChilde/pseuds/SummerChilde
Summary: I'd never leave you. How was I supposed to know you'd leave me?
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23
Collections: Quote Prompt Memes





	flames so hot that they turn blue

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [quoteonlyprompts](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/quoteonlyprompts) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> "i need you, i breathe you, i'd never leave you. they will rue the day i was alone without you." - lana del ray

I need you. I breathe you. 

You were the air in my lungs. Oxygen.

Do you know why blue fires occur? In normal combustion reactions, fuel and O2 create flames that burn red, yellow, and orange.

Blue flames at high temperatures. They get their color from spectral emission lines. And high concentrations of oxygen.

My flames burned blue because I was a shooting star, a child prodigy. A second-born child and female in a patriarchal regime to boot. I had so much to prove.

For years, I ran on hate and sheer force of will. I think everyone thought I would burn out. They certainly whispered behind my back about it often enough.

But I didn't burn out because I had you.

I had you, so it didn't matter that my mother was dead, my brother banished, and my father a psychopathic dictator.

We were friends. Your memory sustained me even after you left Capital City. You taught me that I wasn't unlovable.

When I found you again, you were initially hesitant, but you chose to follow me. You feared me - of course, you did. Who wouldn't? - but you also loved me. I could see it in your eyes.

Those brown eyes of yours could never hide anything, least of all from me. You were always an expressive child.

I never brought it up because we never would have gone anywhere or amounted to anything. After all, I was the Firelord-to-be, and you were a circus performer.

But I knew, and that mattered. _You_ mattered.

Mai was fond of me. She smiled when she saw us in Omashu. Forget that for a second. You _loved_ me, so it felt like the three of us - you, me, and Mai - could do anything.

We were on a quest to hunt down the Avatar, but - for the first time since I was a little girl - I wanted to use my flames to do more than wreak havoc. 

Did I ever tell you? Ember Island was my favorite part about being 15. I wanted to use blue fire to do nothing more than shame beach volleyball players after a match and burn down the houses of stupid Fire National Admiral kids - silly things like that.

I wanted to protect you. You never knew, and I'll never tell, but I was so mad - simmering inside - any time one of the Team Avatar members accidentally got too close to you. I was so worried about you being hurt.

I hated that you'd flirt with a Water Tribe peasant. Still, I swore I would rip anyone apart - limb from limb - if they tried to separate us. Burn the world down for you.

I'd never leave you. How was I supposed to know you'd leave?

Isn't it ironic? I grew up paranoid, barely clinging onto sanity beneath a carefully constructed facade because I was surrounded by traitors and sycophants.

I only made it through my childhood because of you. In the end, though, none of my servants betrayed me even though I banished them a couple of times. Instead, you did.

Sometimes I wonder. Did you know how deeply that would hurt me? Do you know how deeply it still hurts me?

When Mai turned on me, blue flames flickered into existence beneath my fingers. I was fire and fury personified. I was ready to punish her and make her hurt.

When you did, all I could do was lie frozen on the ground. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to move because you blocked my chi networks. I wouldn't know. I didn't try. I couldn't.

I couldn't even breathe for the longest time afterward because you were gone.

You were _gone_ , and it felt like a part of my soul had been ripped out of my chest. 

I was half-insane and all parts uncaring when I challenged Zuko to an Agni Kai. 

The old me wouldn't have thrown away a throne so carelessly. It wasn't even about honor because he'd had the waterbender girl with him, so it was 2-on-1. 

But the old me had been loved by you. I just wanted the pain to stop.

"I won't get out because I'm crazy, baby. I need you to come here and save me."

How was I supposed to know you'd leave me?

**Author's Note:**

> Referenced Lana Del Ray Songs: Freak, Off To The Races
> 
> From "I Have Questions" by Camila Cabello:  
> \- "Why did you leave me here to burn?"  
> \- "I have questions. I got questions haunting me."


End file.
